How To Suppress Discussions Of Racism (In 6 Easy Steps!)

The following "guide" was written by Mely at Coffee and Ink in July 2006, as part of International Blog Against Racism Week, before Blackface Joe and the Clinton-blogger luncheon. But it's apparent that the liberal celebrity-bloggers at the center of these recent flare-ups have studied these 6 easy steps.

From Coffee and Ink (via Alas, a blog and Prometheus 6):

Tired of discussions of racism in literature, television, and film?  Worn out from the unexpected criticism of your leisure pursuits?  Exhausted by the effort of having to respond to each new argument carefully and conscientiously? 

We can help!

We'll teach you how to suppress discussion of racism in six easy steps. Soon suppressing dissent will be so easy you can do it in your sleep! [...]

Introduction

Our goal is to show you a few simple techniques you can use to suppress the discussion of racism. As you read, keep in mind that your goal is not to learn or to educate, to listen or be listened to, to increase your understanding of difficult issues, or to exchange opinions and communicate with other people. Your goal is to make discussions of race so difficult and unrewarding that not only your opponent but any witnesses to your argument will never want to discuss race in public again.

Let's get started!

1. Control what your audience sees.

Successful suppression starts with the choices you make before you even begin to write. Don't allow your opponent to set the terms of the discussion. Make sure your account is not just the first but the only story your readers get to hear. The last thing you want is for them to judge your opponent's words for themselves.

1. Don't link to your opponent's argument. Many of your readers won't even realize they haven't read the original post, just your response to it.
2. If you have linked to the opponent, all isn't lost. So many people never bother to click on links that you're reasonably safe as long as you don't quote your opponent's words in context.
3. If anyone asks you for a link, obfuscate: tell them everyone's talking about it, there are too many examples for you to cite, they can find the background themselves via Google. Remember: you're not responsible for backing up what you say, other people are.

If you've made the mistake of linking to and/or quoting from your opponent, don't worry! The rest of our guide can still help you out.

2.  Attack the person, not the argument. 

Personal attacks end the discussion before it even starts!  If you can accuse your opponent of "paranoia," "white guilt," "internalized racism," "whining," "overreacting," "paternalism," "condescension," "being obsessed with race," "bitching about racism at the drop of a hat," or "taking things too personally," you don't need to bother addressing the content of their remarks. This will save you time and energy you can then devote to happier pursuits. [...]

3. Argue against straw men

A "straw man argument" occurs when you misrepresent your opponent's position so that it's easier to refute.

Remember: Responding to what your opponent says should always be a last resort. To do so requires the extra effort of reading someone else's words and considering the implications of unfamiliar or uncomfortable thoughts. The discussion will go much faster if you just assume your opponent has said what you want to argue about and respond to that instead. [...]

Here are some straw men you can use almost any time someone mentions race or criticizes racial representation in a book/film/TV show/comic book:

1. "Do you want to censor an artist's vision?"
2. "Please, like a movie/book/comic book[/blog post/meeting] is going to turn people racist or make white people want to enslave black people again?"
3. "According to you, the director/writer/artist[/blogger/organizer] sat down and decided to oppress people of color!" [...]

4.  Deflect attention away from the specific criticism.

Remember, your goal is to avoid having to focus on what your opponent has actually said. We've compiled a list of helpful phrases that deflect attention away from specific discussion of racism. You can use them to respond to almost any discussion of racism, regardless of the content.  [...]

We recommend you mix and match responses; arguing is more fun when there's some variety involved. Be careful not to use all the responses at once, or else your opponent may notice that you are contradicting yourself.

1. "Why are you complaining about racism instead of sexism/homophobia/ageism/classism/genocide/world hunger?"
2. "I'm [a member of an oppressed group] and I'm not offended."
3. "My friend is [a member of an oppressed group] and he/she is not offended." [...]

5.  Racism, however ugly, is better than the alternative.

Sometimes, even when you do your best, your opponent is so persistent that you are forced to discuss racism. Don't worry: it's not your fault and soon it won't be your problem.

In most of these cases, you can rely on a few handy responses that define racism in a way that benefits you, prove that racism is better than the measures that would have to be taken against it, or otherwise misdirect your opponent's attention.

1. "Pointing out racism just makes it harder for us to achieve a colorblind society.  You shouldn't judge people based on their race."
2. "Focusing so much on race just shows that you're racist yourself."
3. "Minorities can be racist too, you know!" [...]

6.  Prove your opponent has mistaken some other quality for racism.

In the worst-case scenario, you may need to respond to specific points in your opponent's argument. In these cases, familiarity with the book/film/TV show/comic book in question will help you customize your response to best effect. [...]

1. "Since everyone knows those are racist stereotypes, no one takes them seriously anymore and they can't do any harm.  You're just missing the joke/clever subversion of the stereotype."
2. "It could be just a coincidence that this character fits an objectionable racial stereotype."
3. "It's not racist, it's just one character's point of view!" [...]

Review

1. Control what your audience sees.
2. Attack the person, not the argument.
3. Argue against straw men.
4. Deflect attention away from the specific criticism.
5. Racism, however ugly, is better than the alternative.
6. Prove your opponent has mistaken some other quality for racism.

That's it! With these six easy steps, you can make any discussion of racism so frustrating that your opponent will never bring up the subject again.   

Try it out today!

[ See the entire illustrated guide ]

BONUS GUIDE! A Flowchart For Figuring Out, "Should I Use Blackface On My Blog?"

From ebogjonson:

Recently a number of people have asked me to help them decide whether or not it's appropriate for them to photoshop blackface onto various offending politicians.

This is a highly complicated question, requiring that one juggle a number of aesthetic, political and racial conundrums. During my time as an internet executive, I learned that basically anything could be explained to anyone using an Excel spreadsheet, so as an aid to bloggers and civilians everywhere I've put together a handy process-flow/spreadsheet that I believe should answer folks' various questions lickity-split.

So: should you use blackface on your blog? Click here to find out!

Comments

[MB & EBW]

This is classic - one reason your blog has become a must read for us. Thanks, Kai.

[Sunrunner]

I second that Kai! I don't know how you found ebogjonson (he's a genius!) but I would love to see this image "out there."

And the how to derail a conversation: I stumbled on that about a week ago, also brilliant.

I wish there was a way to print the spreadsheet out . . . it deserves to be a poster, come to think of it.

[Kai]

MB, EBW, Sunrunner,

Thanks so much for your kind words. I'm glad you found this stuff as brilliantly insightful and funny as I did. I'll see you folks at Wampum and Dark Sun too!

Peace.